Revision, Revision...

After years of submitting work, I should be cruising in the fast lane instead of being stuck on the hard shoulder; waiting for recovery to give me a tow. Into the Snicket required methodical attention. If I was going to give the publishers something they couldn’t refuse, I had to review the beginning, middle and end. 

Into the Snicket was always a realistic account of domestic abuse, but the plot needed to focus on the murder if it was ever going to become a crime novel. There’s no room for fluffy sentiment in this genre, so I’m pleased to report that I’ve done what I set out to achieve. The time has come to get a trustworthy car with a good service history so I can hit the road once again. 

It’s been tough. I seem to have developed a permanent grimace on my face; one that’s not too dissimilar to an elderly woman in excruciating pain. After going through so many ‘trials’ I have come to resemble someone who needs urgent intervention: an enema, a good curry and several bags of prunes. You’d think people would take pity on me. Excuse the pun, but no one seems to give a shit. I might have aged considerably, but I’ve become very wise. I’ve learnt to be patient. I've worked hard to produce a manuscript that will take the fickle publishing world by storm.

 

I’ve been here before, so I’m fastening my seat belt and getting ready for a bumpy ride..... 

 

Time Management

 

Into the Snicket is ready for agent submission. I know what they are expecting: one synopsis, three chapters, chapter outlines and a letter. I presumed that I’d have a theme for this week’s blog, but I’ve not made much progress. Unfortunately, there isn’t an awful lot to report. As you know, I’m a dedicated unpublished author, so it’s not my fault. The blame very clearly lies in the hands of Guy Fawkes. Quite simply, the gunpowder plot couldn’t have come at a worse time for me, just after Halloween and a few weeks before Christmas.

 

Thankfully, Halloween is over, but I’m still finding wispy bits of decorative cobwebs, clinging onto plants, over architraves, under staircases and sofas like sheep’s wool on barbed wire. I had to leave all the authentic cobwebs in place just to get on with the synopsis. However, I’m not making headway with the rest of the submission requirements. Five days post Halloween party and four days after my very bad hangover, I came across a half eaten apple from a bobbing game. I can’t even remember this ever taking place. The same goes for my involvement in the dressing up chocolate game. All that chocolate was probably the cause of my iffy tummy as I can’t recall drinking that much wine....Suffice to say, I’ve not been able to dispose of the green jelly that is still blobbing about in our fridge - taking up permanent residence on the top shelf with gelatine insect-sweets creepy crawly-ing out of its innards.

 

I’d managed to write the main synopsis, but Bonfire night was looming. I needed to check the sell-by-date on the black treacle and set to work making Parkin. The kids were given a gingerbread men baking kit thinking this wouldn’t require adult supervision. They did a good job really. I shouldn’t panic so much. They only spilled a bit of flour, onto sticky golden syrup dollops, which somehow spread all over the work surface, floor, kitchen cupboards - indeed - the whole house. And, why did I have to worry so much about them eating most of the raisins when they'd already come up with the ingenious idea of making aliens instead. Creatures from outer space need only one eye and no buttons – problem solved!

 

It is November 6^th.  Finally, I’ve got time to do the submission. Or maybe, I should get the Christmas preparations out of the way? Why couldn’t Guy Fawkes have done all his plotting around June/July, after Easter and before the summer holiday? That would have spread out the festivities and given me a break.....